February 10, 2011
the battle to keep my head above the water is in full rage.
as in full fragmentz style, everything is/has all kicked off at once.
nothing is ever quiet, simple or easy in my world. although i am not sure i’d know how to live if it was!
anyway, i am here, i am surviving.
i am 13 weeks in on the not smoking effort.
i am 10 months in on not self harming.
i am nearly 3 years into being alive, and my OD not succeeding.
so, although its fair to say the shit has hit the fan, it is also fair to say there are some achievements there too.
i’m trying to hang on to them!
and the fact i have some wonderful people around me, and beautiful and amazing people across the country who tweet at me, put up with me crying and going on on the phone, and who are generally all round lovely.
sorry my blog posts have been so little.
i appreciate all you who read, and hope you have not buggered off because i have been so quiet. also hope life is treating you well too.
love Fragz x
January 13, 2011
the title of this blog says it all really.
And Yes, I am aware that it is only a week into the project. Maybe I have not even done a whole week.
I know some people may be smiling and thinking ‘I knew she wouldn’t do it’. Thats fine. I don’t mind. I can admit when I fail at something. And this is one of those times.
The concept of Post a Day 2011 came from WordPress itself, the people who I blog through. And its a great idea. For some people. I was excited about it, and thought it was something I could achieve. And in fact, I still think it is something I could achieve, however it is not something I WANT to achieve. And the reasons are as follows …
When I created Fragmentz, the blog, it was with the view of blogging about things that I had in my head, on my mind. It was intended as an outlet. It is a space where I write things that sometimes I find difficult to talk about in real life ( lets talk about rape … being such a post to give an example). Its a space where I can air my thoughts, my poems, my writings, my struggles with life, faith, the world around me, health, depression and other such things. I want it to continue being that space.
Its a space where I have been true to myself, and want to continue being so. And that means not posting things for the sake of it. And thats what I realised the other night, when I was at home, after a very long and weary day, at work, and when my mood was not at its best. I was about to go and hide under my duvet when I realised I had yet to blog … so I trawled through my computer to see what I could find to ‘stick up’ so I could fulfil my quota of ‘daily posting’. I ended up rambling about Glee. Just so I had posted.
That was never what Fragmentz was about. And it isnt.
Hence why I am quitting out of the ‘post a day’ project, and will continue to write/blog here as before.
I hope those of you who have been reading through post a day continue, and if not, then its been nice to briefly be part of your ‘group’ and thank you as ever to those of you who regularly read and keep up to date with the ever changing roller coaster ride of a life that is Fragz.