I Am Returning To You.
August 30, 2012
I Am Returning To You.
I am returning to you,
with all of my heart,
with all that I am,
with everything.
I am turning to you.
I am returning to you.
I am returning to you,
you have always been on my mind,
and have never drifted far away,
from the complicated space that is my mind.
I am turning to you.
I am returning to you.
I am returning to you,
because I remember when I first fell in love,
with you, your kindness, your beauty.
and for a moment I felt that again.
I am turning to you.
I am returning to you.
I am returning to you,
for my soul longs for your arms,
to be wrapped round tightly, never letting go,
comforting, consoling, loving.
I am turning to you.
I am returning to you.
I am returning to you,
for when the blackest clouds closed in,
there was nothing to see or feel,
but learning to live again is happening.
I am turning to you.
I am returning to you.
I am returning to you,
for even when I screamed profanities at you,
still your remained there,
never did you go anywhere.
I am turning to you.
I am returning to you.
I am returning to you,
make me into what you want,
help me to live a life,
that means something to someone, to you.
I am turning to you.
I am returning to you.
© Fragmentz
The Tears Fall.
May 15, 2012
The tears fall,
Behind closed curtains,
no one would know,
the truth, as
the tears fall.
The tears fall,
mourning lost love,
her heart is torn in two,
life broken, as
the tears fall.
The tears fall,
the night goes by,
time passes,
a forgotten person, as
the tears fall.
The tears fall,
her soul yearning,
for nearness, once again,
something, anything as
the tears fall.
The tears fall,
as early sunrise light
floods into the darkness
and another day arrives, as
the tears fall.
© Fragmentz
Mandela and Merton
April 29, 2012
Below is a quote that was read out yesterday at a day I attended which was about exploring our future vocations. I found it incredibly powerful. It was used by Nelson Mandela in a speech he made, his inauguaration I think. I dont know who actually wrote it – do let me know if you do.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
also read out was the Thomas Merton prayer I have blogged once before, but will post again, because even through my unbelieving times and my ‘angry at God’ years, I have had this prayer on my wall for years and years.
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone
a short poem by fragz
January 8, 2011
The below is a poem I have had on the go for many months now. I keep coming back to it, time and time again, to ‘complete’ and yet, every time I do, or every time inspiration has hit, and I think ooh that be part of that poem, by the time I’ve got to write down the thoughts, they’ve gone. So I have concluded that maybe the poem is meant to be unfinished, and there for complete as it is.
The blink of her eyes, the teardrops fall,
as the tired body crumples up against the wall,
no one and nothing to stand her upright
on to the floor she goes, losing her fight
The feeling is extreme, rushing through her veins,
Never before has she felt such pain,
In the middle of the night, when silence is all around,
Who is there to cry out to?
Dont Quit.
January 5, 2011
A few years ago, times were tough. Very tough. Tougher than I ever could have imagined. As I have mentioned before recently in a blog, 10 years ago, I never in my wildest dream would have imagined what the next 10 years were going to hold. I had no idea what life was going to make me endure. I sometimes wonder if I had known then, whether I would have quit the race before hand, perhaps its a good job I didn’t know?
Anyway, during one of the bleak days, when I could not bring myself to get out of bed and face the day, my stepdad who I lovingly regard as my Dad now, popped in to bring me some food. He also bought me a little card, to say he was thinking of me, and in that card was a bookmark type thing, a little laminated piece of paper. On it was the poem ‘ Dont Quit’ and a message from my Dad telling me to keep going and to not quit fighting the fight. It made me cry as I read it, and it makes me tearful to re read it now. To think at times I was so close to the edge. So close to throwing my hats in, and giving up. In fact, I tried several times, and perhaps only by the grace of God and some very beautiful friends I’ve managed to get back on the road of recovery and journey.
I was listening to some music tonight, that means a lot to me, songs that friends suggested or sent to me over the time, at random times but that meant the world there and then and still does. It made me think this poem, Dont Quit, author unknown.
And I guess it made me want to share it with you, whoever reads this, in the hope that, maybe someone out there who is contemplating quitting will read it, and hear it, and let it speak into their lives, so that wherever you are and whatever your situation is you can somehow find some inner strength to keep on fighting the fight. If life is tough for you right now, like unimaginably tough, do know, I am thinking of you and sending you love and hugs as I type/post this blog. Love Fragmentz x
Dont Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low, and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you frown a bit, Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don’t give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you can never tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit, It’s when things seem worst That you must not quit.
Author Unknown
nightime words
July 25, 2010
This poem is hot off the press, having only just being written. Am testing mobile wordpress so do let me know if this works if you see it before I get to a computer.
Nightime words
In the middle of the night
All is still, silence all around
The skies are black, stars shining
An owl hoots, no cares in the world.
On the bed she lays,
Staring out of the window,
Thinking how life is passing her by,
Daring to dream of change.
The heart cry of her world,
Longs to love and be loved,
Waiting quietly in the shadows
Of all that is good around her.
A song in the background,
Melodies, sweet harmonies,
Over and over, gentle words,
Soothing the soul, healing the hurt.
A mind so broken and fragmented,
Slowly being put back to pieces,
Longing for the day to arrive,
Where beauty shines through.
copyright fragmentz
a new poem – no name yet
July 17, 2010
Everything in disarray … the cuts bleeding,
crumpled on the floor,
a beautiful face so distant, weeping.
So weary, so exhausted, broken,
a glass shell shattering into tiny pieces,
Until it is just a dust on the dirty floor
The rain falls, the winds blow
From the east, through to the west
The storm rages, heavy and rough
The skies darken, turning to black,
All of creation trembles, all hope moving,
Further away, slowly disappearing.
Eyes so tired, finally slowly closing,
So gentle, as everything turns to white
And peace overtakes above all else
The warmth engulfs the soul,
Sweeping through every part,
As the little sweet nothings are whispered
The long night comes to an end,
The light begins to rise, morning is here
Another battle is over for now.
© fragmentz
‘You are Mine’
June 13, 2010
You Are Mine
Tears fall, streaming down her face,
as she curls up on the floor,
believing that for her, it is the only place,
because she does not deserve any more.
She wraps her arms around her chest,
to try and ease the bruises and the pain,
lying there, very still, with no energy to protest,
fading into the carpet, like a stain.
Ignored, unseen and trampled on,
by the people who walk over with no cares,
feeling filthy and ashamed, finally she is stumbled upon,
and up she stands in full view of their stares.
The broken bones are tenderly held,
as the arms that are open wide wrap round tightly,
all fears and trembling are quelled,
the light that is above shines so brightly.
Rising up, so tall, looking up to the skies,
totally embraced, and finally starting to feel loved,
the ash becomes a beauty, as the sun begins to rise,
and a voice speaks into her soul, ‘ you are mine, beloved’.
© fragmentz
The Whisper.
March 21, 2010
The Whisper.
Foundation, false lashes and make up covering the bruised eye,
A weary body, waking up every day with a sigh,
Stories to tell, from behind those closed doors,
Of a life so unfulfilled and full of wars.
The days go by, turning into weeks, months and then years …
A body crying out for help, a loud plea, which no one hears with
Pills in one hand, alcohol in the other, it feels like there is no way out
But all of a sudden her mind is consumed with a whisper of doubt.
Looking upwards, reaching out her arms and lifting up her head,
Slowly, standing on her feet, she walks away from where she bled.
With her one small bag packed and a coat over her shoulder
On she walks, and walks until the day comes when she is older.
As the years pass by, the scars never go, but begin to get lighter
She sits down, and watches life go by, and the sun getting brighter
And as she confronts all of the things in her life she fears
In the stillness the previous whisper of ‘I love you’ is all she hears.
